fauxklore | Entries tagged with kvetching

On the day before
a holiday, people like
to leave work early.

Why doesn't Metro
adjust the "off peak" schedule
to let them get home?

Every bloody holiday eve I end up waiting ages for an Orange line train I can squeeze onto. They should really have figured out that running trains 15 minutes apart at 3 p.m. on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving does not work.

And, a bonus, a hint for people exiting the Vienna station:

If it says SmartTrip
Only, please don't try to use
your paper ticket.

Trust me, you will not get the paper ticket into the sealed off slot in one of the SmartTrip only lanes. Which are clearly labeled, both overhead and directly on the top of the reader.

I can't, however, offer haiku help to the person the other day who couldn't figure out you use the reader to the right of the turnstile and could not understand why nothing was happening when he put his ticket in the reader to the left. Or to the people who can't understand that a stop sign means that lane is not open.

... but I have to dispute a charge on my credit card as a matter of principle. There's a $2.50 charge from Budget for a toll posted on Sep 24. But the only time I used a car from them was back in June and they charged me $7 in tolls then (despite the actual tolls on E-470 being $6.50).

It's a trivial amount of money but it's just wrong.

I don't actually hate California. But the Pacific time zone is going to kill me.

Aside from all of the times I have rushed to my office to a telecon that turned out to be 3 hours later because nobody bothered mentioning that the time was L.A. time, there is the problem of baseball.

The American League Division Series started tonight. My beloved Red Sox are playing the California Angels. (I refuse to call them by their absurd official name since, in any reasonable place, Anaheim would be in an entirely different state from Los Angeles.) They are playing in Anaheim. And the game time was apparently chosen for the convenience of West Coast television viewers, with the full knowledge that Sox fans are so dedicated that we will pay attention even though the games start after bedtime.

On top of which the Dodgers beat the Cubs, which is just wrong.

I generally buy a new dress to wear on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. If I have to go through the annoyance of clothes shopping, I might as well kvetch about it.

1) It is nearly October. It is officially autumn. Even though it has been rather hot and sticky the past couple of days, one might expect cool weather to be approaching. So why don't the local department stores have any long sleeve dresses out yet?

2) Talbot's did have a jacket dress. A jacket dress is a good thing. Big fabric flower sewn to the breast of the dress, however, not so much.

3) While I was in various stores, I walked through the shoe departments. I did not note the manufacturer, but somebody has come out with an open-toe suede boot. If it is cool enough out to wear a suede boot, you need closed toe shoes. Trust me on this.

4) I gave up on the more upscale mall shops and headed over to the Fair City Mall. Dress Barn had a nearly acceptable dress. It was a perfectly reasonable grey sweater dress, with just one little problem. Namely, it had 3/4 length sleeves. If it is cold enough out to wear a sweater dress, it is cold enough out to have all of my arms covered.

5) There is at least one manufacturer who makes lovely clothing in prints I adore but does not make them in any size below 3X. There are numerous manufacturers who make clothing I like who do not manufacture anything above a size 14. This is annoying.

I did, in the end, find a perfectly lovely cranberry sweater dress. (Note that I firmly believe that one cannot own too many red dresses.) But it took far longer than I'd have liked.

... and the hotel has a business center with free internet access.

The problem with driving down after work is that I didn't get much work done all afternoon because I was checking traffic.com every 10 minutes. I did, however, learn a new word. I was looking at data somebody sent me and he referred to certain satellites having been "passivated." I believe that most people would have called that "deactivated."

Checking the traffic proved to be useless, by the way, as by the time I left the traffic jams were not where it told me they'd be. Things eased up quite a bit after Fredericksburg and it took me about 3 hours and 15 minutes from Crystal City, which is not too bad. (Mapquest claims it should be 2.5 hours, but they never really account for the horror that is I-95 through Dale City.)

Dinner, which I had at an Italian restaurant chosen entirely by proximity to the close, featured a non-Colonial time warp. Let's just say that most of America has progressed past 1960's era red sauce, but this place (Sal's) had not.

The storytelling festival calendar poses numerous dilemmas, as I want to be in at least two of the tents at any given time. I will probably use my usual method of going to hear the people who I have heard the least (or, in at least two cases, never). But I can figure that out in the morning.

1) A fast food place in Crystal City has a sign in the window reading "se necessita senorita." Aside from posting a "help wanted" sign only in Spanish, gender is not exactly a legitimate requirement to make sandwiches.

2) I tried to help a couple of German tourists on the metro yesterday. They were trying to go to Chinatown and I showed them the Gallery Place - Chinatown station on the metro map. And I explained that they were on the wrong train and needed to get off at either Pentagon City or Pentagon and get on the Yellow Line because the Blue Line doesn't stop there and it would be much longer if they stayed on it. When the train got to the Pentagon Station, I again told them they should get off and change trains. It wouldn't bother me so much that they ignored my advice, but afterwards the man saw it was much further and complained about how difficult the Washington metro is to use.

3) Trader Joe's no longer has their East Meets West coffee blend, the only reasonably cheap coffee I consider drinkable.

4) There are about 6 things I want to do this spring. And every single one of them has been scheduled for exactly the same weekend. I realize that May is difficult with Memorial Day and Mother's Day, but this is a bit much.

Dear (whoever the right higher up at Budget Car Rental is),

I believe that businesses would like to satisfy their customers. I have been satisfied with car rentals from Budget in the past, but my experience in Denver, Colorado this weekend is an exception.

I reserved an economy car to be picked up at the Denver International Airport at 10:30 a.m.. My flight was slightly early and I stopped at the Budget desk inside the airport. The clerk at the Budget desk inside the airport told me that she took no information but would check that my reservation was in the system, which it was. I then took the bus to the rental car lot.

The line to pick up cars was the longest I have ever seen in my life. Only 4 clerks were working and it was over an hour before I reached the head of the line. The clerk who took my details asked me if I still wanted a small car and I said that I did, due to gas prices and the difficulty of finding parking spaces for larger vehicles. He then walked off for approximately 10 minutes. When he returned, he told me they were giving me a Toyota Highlander. This is not, in fact, a small car. When I objected, he told me I could wait to speak to his manager, but that would be another half hour. Given the length of time to get to the rental car lot and the time I had waited in line, I reluctantly accepted the car. I then waited another 15 minutes for a porter to actually bring the car, during which time I saw several small cars in the lot. The total length of time from when I arrived at Budget's desk at the airport until I had the vehicle was nearly 2 hours. The clerk insisted this is not unusual for Denver. I have rented cars approximately 200 times at the Denver airport and the longest I have ever waited in the past is 30 minutes.

There is nothing I can do about the length of the wait (other than inform you so you can revisit your staffing at that location). Nor can I do anything about the inconvenience of parking a large vehicle. But I can and do object to having to pay for the additional cost of fuel because of a clerk's deception and/or incompetence.

The EPA estimates a Toyota Highlander gets 18 mpg in city driving and 24 mpg in highway driving and that a Hyundai Accent (the car identified as on my reservation) gets 24 mpg in city driving and 33 mpg in highway driving. Therefore, the car I was given uses approximately 35% more gasoline than the car I reserved.

I paid $33.70 to refill the car before returning it. Had I been given the car I reserved (and which was, in fact, available despite the clerk's claims) it would have cost me approximately $24.96. I would, therefore, like you to refund the $8.74 for expenses I would not have incurred had I been given what I asked for.

In addition, your on-line reservation system includes a guarantee that the total price will be as quoted in the reservation. The quoted taxes were $5.39, but I was actually charged $12.06 in taxes. This is a difference of $6.67, which I would also like refunded.

I have attached copies of the original reservation, my transaction record from returning the car, and my receipt from the gas purchase. Please refund the total unexpected expenses of $15.41 within the next 30 days.

Now, all I have to do is figure out who to actually send this to.

1) I am reasonably sure that now, in the 21st century, we are supposed to have teleportation.

2) You are supposed to need less sleep as you get older. I am waiting.

3) I will still function perfectly well if I go to a concert an hour's drive from home on a weeknight.

I know that none of these are actually true. Which is why I am not at the Birchmere listening to Orchestra Baobab tonight.

I don't have to be happy about that.

We regret any
inconvenience. Thank you for
riding metro ...
... Ha!

Tonight's commute was
frustrating and annoying
in equal measure.

The prosaic version of the kvetch of the day is that a massive storm moved through the area in the middle of the afternoon. Thunder and lightning and wind and possibly a tornado or two led to power outages. One of those power outages was just outside the East Falls Church station. Hence, there was pandemonium on the Orange Line.

It took a couple of trains at Rosslyn before I managed to even get started westward. They claimed that all of the trains were terminating at East Falls Church, but that there would be shuttle bus service to West Falls Church and shuttle trains running to Vienna. I figured I could take the 2B bus (which runs from Ballston to Vienna) as a backup.

When I got to East Falls Church we all got off the train and into a massive human traffic jam on the platform. Just as I finally got down to the lower level and was among the masses trying to get out and get to a bus, they announced that service had been restored. So I forced my way back upstream and managed to get onto the second train that came.

They did charge a reduced fare. And it is still better than driving. But that doesn't mean I won't whine.

My company is making everybody do ethics training. They've contracted out some on-line course and I did the first part (of three, I believe) today.

What they have disappointed me so far. For example, they discuss a case where a man and a woman are working to get an overseas client. When they go to meet with the client, he insists the woman not be allowed into the meeting, because women don't do business in that country. Interesting situation - but the training course doesn't have any resolution. (It's also a pretty silly situation, since one would expect that the situation would have come up before this final "close the deal" trip.)

The ones where they did have quiz scenarios were somewhat irritating because my usual answer was "none of the above" (which was not an option). They used an example where a manager told somebody in confidence that the company may have layoffs. Another employee, who was very junior (and, thus, vulnerable to layoffs) then mentioned that she was about to make an offer on a condo and they asked what the person who had been told in confidence about possible layoffs should say. The problem is that I would have already confronted the boss about not passing along the information about impending layoffs.

They also had a quiz at the end which included a question about which of three actions was ethically questionable (with an "all of the above" option). One was going to human resources with an issue without confronting the person involved. The second involved somebody writing a family newsletter on company time. The third one had to do with a supplier buying an employee an expensive cup of coffee.

The answer they wanted was #2. But I could argue in favor or against any of these. The first is probably more a question of etiquette than ethics, but there wasn't enough information about the situation to be sure. While I can understand why they feel #2 was a problem, I don't see a real ethical issue with somebody, say, writing some newsy family e-mail thingy while sitting through a telecon. As for #3, sure it's just a cup of coffee, but that expensive coffee is probably unethical in and of itself, unless it is fair trade coffee so accepting it is tantamount to accepting the exploitation of third world farmers and encouraging cash crops over sustainable agriculture.

It would be really nice if they ever had training that was actually tailored to what we do at work.

I listed a bunch of stuff on Freecycle. Living in a condo, I can't really leave things out for people because: 1) the complex office doesn't even take packages for residents never mind non-residents, 2) the buildings are locked so it's not like somebody could get in to get something from my doorstep, 3) there isn't anywhere at the entryway to my building to leave things, and 4) in my experience, only 1 out of 5 people can follow directions well enough to find my building in the first place (since the only entrance non-residents can use is not located on the street the address is on.)

So I specifically said "Please be able to pick up evening or weekends."

I have had several responses. One of whom can only pick things up between 8 and 9 a.m. on weekdays and another of whom asked if she could come by at lunchtime tomorrow.

Can't anybody bloody read any more?

(Actually, I know the answer to that, since every single day I am held up by at least 4 or 5 people trying to exit metro turnstiles which are clearly labeled "Smartrip cards only" with paper fare cards.)

I am not even going to get onto the two people who said they would come by this evening and who have not responded when I emailed them telling them to call me after 6 p.m.

I will not commit matricide.

I will not commit matricide.

I will not commit matricide.

I will not commit matricide.

I will not commit matricide.

I'm at my Mom's house, to take her for her annual Mother's Day theatre outing (which is this afternoon, not tomorrow, for reasons of convenience). Amtrak was okay since I got a seat in the quiet car and the conductor was vigilant about tossing out the person who didn't grasp the concept of not using a cell phone there. But I was a bit amazed by some teenagers on the LIRR.

On what planet is it socially acceptable to wash out your new belly button piercing with saline on a commuter train?

Rather than a bunch of spotty little entries, I put all of these together.

1) There was an earthquake in Northern Virginia yesterday. Epicenter was Annandale. Since it was a whopping 1.8 on the Richter scale, I doubt anybody not right there noticed it. I didn't really need 3 emails from our security and safety folks about this.

2) Everyone comments on how the seats right behind home plate at the Nationals' ballpark are always empty and how bad it looks on TV. I explained to someone that the problem is that those seats cost $325. And they asked why lobbyists aren't giving them away. It turns out that the law was changed after the 2005 season and it's illegal. Before that, they used to give away tickets to staffers all the time.

3) At staff meeting today, one of my colleagues referred to an organization objecting to something by saying, "they claim that if we don't do this, dogs and cats will sleep together."

Our boss replied, "What's wrong with that? They can't breed."

4) Not that you care, but the Whole Foods in Vienna, Virginia may have the least efficient checkout clerks in the known universe. Uh, if something doesn't scan, why do you insist on waiting until you have rung up everything else before asking for a price check?

5) Speaking of annoyances, if you are riding the metro and don't get a seat, you get one hand to hold onto the pole. If the ride is really jerky (as tends to happen on 8 car trains), I will grant you the use of a second hand. However, there are no circumstances under which it is remotely acceptable to lean your entire back against the pole, crushing the hands of other people who are trying to hold on.

6) I am continually amazed that there are able-bodied people who work in my building who will wait for an elevator to go down one floor. It's bad enough that people wait to go up one floor. At least have the decency to affect a limp or complain about your knees or something so we'll think you're not just the laziest creature on the planet.

7) As I was walking out of the metro, I overheard the best cell phone conversation I have ever overheard. This woman was snarling into her phone, "You're a cockroach. You're worse than a cockroach." Obviously, Gregor Samsa's girlfriend takes the Orange Line, too.

1) It was obviously a man who invented the mammogram machine.

2) I can understand people who interpret tourist season as something like deer season. The slow moving, clueless herds need to be thinned.

but if I order a theatre subscription for Sunday matinees (which cost more than anytime than Saturday nights), shouldn't the tickets they send me actually be for Sunday matinees?

They sent me one for a Sunday matinee, one for a Saturday night, and one for a Sunday night. I can exchange, but I find this extremely annoying.

After reading the news story about Curt Schilling's shoulder (which probably means the end of his career), I went to the Red Sox home page. And I've missed the dates for entering the lottery for the right to buy tickets at Fenway against the Source of All Evil in the Universe.

On top of which, the only nonstop evening flight between Orlando and Huntsville for an upcoming business trip is booked, meaning that I will have an annoyingly long layover in either Atlanta or Charlotte. Given my company's travel agent, probably the latter. Said travel agent also once again did not put my frequent flyer number in on a reservation (for a different trip). And United doesn't let you do that on their web site other than when you check in (at which point the odds of getting a decent seat are greatly diminished), requiring a call to their customer service folks.

I'm also waiting for seven different people to return important work-related emails or phone calls.

This has not been a great day.