Weekend Whirlind

On Friday night I went to see American Century Theater's production of One Night With Fanny Brice. This is essentially a one-woman show, written by Chip Deffaa, with a piano accompaniment. It was rather too literal a look at Brice's life, so came across as "I did this," followed by a song, repeat ad infinitum. Though Esther Covington, who played Ms. Brice, had a reasonable voice, her dancing is unimpressive and she has no sense of comedic timing. Combine that with accompaniment by Tom Fuller that often drowned her out and the result was a remarkably dull performance. A show about one of the funniest people ever to perform on a stage should have the audience laugh more than once or twice.

Saturday night was Tellebration! This is an annual evening of storytelling around the world. I performed at the event at the Kensington Row Bookshop in Kensington, Maryland. The Beltway traffic getting there was about the third worst I've ever encountered, so I was glad I had left myself a lot of extra time. I told two stories. In the first half, I told a Mongolian folktale I've used the title "Two Foolish Old People" for, though rechecking the book I got it from (which I also misremembered the title of) it is called "A story of the foolish and silly old people." It's short and funny and, therefore, made a good opening piece. The piece I told in the second half is Border Crossing, a personal story that attempts to answer a probing question an official asked as I entered Karonga, Malawi. It gives me a chance to make fun of weddings I've been to (all of which are real, though not all of which actually involved members of my family). I generally say that all of the stories I tell are true, whether or not they happened that way, and the minor exaggeration in this one is a good example.

As for the other tellers, Anne Sheldon told "The Tiger's Whisker" and a Vachel Lindsay poem about Johnny Appleseed. Bob Rovinsky focused on weddings and dance. His "seven pits" dance (which parallels the 7 stages of man) is always enjoyable to see. Laura J. Bobrow did a clever story about a girl called Rhonda, after the ballet term "ronde de jambe." Last but not least, Cricket Parmalee told a complex Arabic folktale about a princess who defied an order for there to be no women in a neighboring kingdom. Jane Dorfman ably emceed the evening.

The formal concert was followed by an open mike, the highlight of which was hearing Zoe Sagalow tell the circular story about the mice searching for the most powerful husband for their daughter. I had time for a quick browse around the shop afterwards and was seriously tempted by a theremin they have for sale. I may well go back and buy it if they still have it the next time I am in the neighborhood. (Which may not be that far away, as there is a Volksmarch in that area in December.)

Sunday was occupied primarily with knitting group. It appears that every woman I know who is under 40 is pregnant. Well, except for the two who just had babies in the past few weeks. And the other two. At least baby stuff is quick to knit.

Finally, all I can say about this past week's episode of The Amazing Race is that Chad just got what was coming to him.

The TSA Controversy

Given how much I travel, I figured I should weigh in on the TSA controversy. The fundamental problem I have with the current procedure is that it still relies on somebody looking for something, which will always have a significant failure rate. Every frequent traveler I know can tell you of some time when they arrived at the other end of a trip to discover they had a prohibited item with them, which TSA missed. There is no reason to believe that they will detect items on images of people any more effectively than they do on x-rays of our carry-on bags. If you are serious about detecting explosives, the most effective current technology is a trained dog. (Actually searching cargo would also be more appropriate, particularly since the most recent threats TSA is supposedly reacting to involved cargo, not passengers.)

My second issue is specific to back-scatter technology. This is ionizing radiation, which inherently carries health risks. The risk may be low if the equipment is properly calibrated, but there is no way to know if it. (The backscatter machines are the ones that look like two giant blue refrigerators. There are also millimeter-wave scanners in use, which look like a large plexiglass box and the health risks do not apply to those, though, of course, the privacy concerns do.) I believe that either of these technologies amount to a virtual strip search and are inappropriate for primary screening. I do not have an issue with the use of millimeter wave scanners for secondary screening. They may be particularly useful for people with medical devices that will set off magnetometers, for example.

The pat-down procedure being used for those who opt-out or set off metal detectors or who are "randomly" selected (more about that in a minute) as it is currently practiced is also inappropriate, in my opinion. If the procedures being used to examine the genital regions were performed by anybody other than TSA (or a law enforcement officer under considerably more limited circumstances), they would be considered sexual battery.

As for random selection, my observation (admittedly anecdotal, but consistent with what others have reported) is that women are at least 3-4 times as likely to be selected. (I have read one TSA officer admit that he sends every woman wearing a skirt for scanning or pat-down. His logic is that if he can't see the outlines of somebody's body, that is supicious. That means that women who follow any religious practices that call for modesty are being particularly singled out. I believe some of the other reason for the disparity is that women are perceived as more likely to be docile and comply.) There are several problems with this. A simple one is that the scanners do detect sanitary napkins. Another significant issue is that there are fewer female TSA officers available, so that women often have considerable delays waiting for the pat-down. (Note that TSA promises only that they will attempt to have you patted down by an officer of the same gender, but does not guarantee this. I don't even have words for how offensive this is.)

There are several additional issues from the standpoint of safety (which is the argument for all of this. The pat-downs often add health risk as TSA officers do not change their gloves routinely, for example. A bigger issue is that more people will choose to use other forms of transit, all of which are more dangerous than air travel. Finally, people who have been traumatized by assaultive security procedures are more likely to explode with rage when confronted with additional stress.

My recommendations for dealing with all of this are:

1) Write to your congresscritters to oppose these practices. Specific points to make are health risks, violation of the 4th Amendment, and questions about undue influence by the companies that manufacture the technology.

2) Try to choose security check-points without the nude-o-scopes.

3) If you are asked to use a millimeter wave device, decide for yourself how you feel about the privacy issue. I am willing to use one of these instead of being fondled aggressively, but you may feel differently.

4) Opt-out of using backscatter devices due to the health risks. You will be patted-down. Insist the TSA agent change gloves, using fresh ones from the box, not ones from his or her pocket (which may have been used on another person previously). You must also insist on maintaining visual contact with your belongings while being inspected.

5) While you have a right to a private screening, I suggest that you insist on being screened in public unless you have a specific medical reason (e.g. an ostomy bag) not to. If you are screened in private, take your own witness. (You have a right to this. If they refuse to allow you your own witness, ask for a supervisor.)

6) Calling the TSA officers names or physically abusing them is rude and counterproductive. If you feel there are any questions about whether the procedures are being followed appropriately (a common one being the failure to tell you before touching some part of your body), gently remind them of that. You can also request a supervisor and, if necessary, elevate to a law enforcement officer. (The latter should rarely be needed.) There are also complaint forms you can fill out, in which case you should make every attempt to get the name of the officer whose behavior concerns you.