Call Me By My Name

The Washington Post business section on December 5th had a story about the problems faced by people named Alexa. Many of them have been asked to use a different name to avoid the Amazon software responding when they are called on in meetings. This is, obviously, Amazon’s fault, for using an actual name for their wake-up prompt, though there is, apparently, a way to change that.

People screw up my name frequently. Even when I spell my name, counter clerks at take-out restaurants write down Marian or Mary or other things that sound NOTHING at all like Miriam to people who don’t suffer from what I think of as mid-Western vowel deficiency. Even worse are the people who attempt nicknames. I am not Mimi, damn it. There are a handful of people (mostly members of my family) who are allowed to call me Mir, but nobody ever comes up with that on their own.

I did have one job where a colleague nicknamed me "Doctor Evil," for reasons best lost in the mists of time. That led to several people calling me "Doc," which is the one nickname I've had that I actually liked. (Er, yes, I do have a Ph.D., but it is pretentious to insist on people using the title when speaking. I tend to use it largely when making restaurant reservations, as I find I get better tables that way.)

Having grown up in a small town (population under 5000 on a good day) with an older sibling, it took me a long time to learn that people might have difficulty with my surname. It is astonishing how many ways people can screw up five letters. Here’s a simple tip. If you are not sure how to pronounce someone’s name, just ask them.

Here’s an even simpler tip. Just call people by the name they used when they introduced themselves to you. Even if they are named Alexa.
And, no, Amazon - Do not even think of changing that wake-up word to Miriam.